Captain Morgan’s Last Stand
By
Berry Michel
The following story is about bad decision making, really bad decision making. When you read this story, you will probably think how could someone be this stupid. I can honestly say at the time I never thought any of these bad decisions would ever see the light of day. But they did and it all started with youth sports. My mom was right about youth sports after all. Damn you pee wee football.
My seven-year-old son at the time was playing youth flag football and somehow, I made a connection with one of the flag football moms. Eventually, this new friendship with Flag Football Mom came to light and what can I say, I got caught up. It also didn’t help that Flag Football Mom was white. This is a little piece of advice to any man married to a black woman, having a fling with a white woman is a very bad idea. That was my first mistake and it got me kicked out of the house.
So, I moved into this crappy little apartment about 400 meters from the house my first wife and kids were living in. I could literally see the back of the house from my apartment. Talk about torture. During this exile period my best friend Apple and his first wife came to visit. No, his real name is not Apple but to protect identities, it’s probably best to use code names for now. More about Apple later. Apple and I have had quite the adventures over the past few decades.
Anyway, back to the story. So, one day during the visit, Apple’s wife decides to have a conversation with my first wife about how Apple and I never fought about anything our entire friendship besides this one time in college when we fought over this one girl. Now I am not sure how this comes out in casual conversation but let’s just say Apple’s wife at the time was not one of my favorite people. First, I don’t recall ever fighting over any woman, ever. But that was the story.
Seems like a harmless conversation right folks? Wrong! You see I was married in college to my first wife and the girl that Apple’s wife was referring to was my first wife’s arch nemesis. Yes, my first wife hated this girl, and I knew it. So, when she found out about it some five years later, she went ballistic. How do I know? She showed up at my crappy little apartment with steam coming out of her ears. It just so happened at the time when she showed up, Apple was over my apartment just chilling out. We were having bro time when the hysterical foray began.
My first wife was going off. It was all a blur, and I didn’t have much to say for myself. I was definitely on the defense. There was this one bottle of Captain’s Morgan Rum standing tall on the kitchen counter. Apple and I had been sipping on the bottle during bro time. Things were getting heated and my then wife grabbed the bottle of Captain’s Morgan and started to swing it toward my head. Fortunately, my friend Apple was able to grab her arm before she could make contact. Apple finally got her to calm down enough for her to depart the premises still pissed of course. I absolutely understand why she wanted to take that Captain Morgan’s bottle to my head. I deserved it. All my crap was coming out and I had committed the ultimate forms of betrayal. The arch nemesis scenario was a low point. Looking back on it now, I know how wrong I was, how selfish I was. This was a wakeup call for me. I was about to lose my family. I wish I could say that this was a turning point in my life but there is a lot more on this self-discovery journey to tell. However, I can say that I never looked at Captain Morgan’s Rum the same ever again. In fact, after that incident, I stopped drinking it entirely and just switched to bourbon.
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