The Bully
By
Berry Michel
When I was growing up in my small town, I lived in a predominantly African American neighborhood. Every morning I would have to take a twenty-minute bus ride to school. That’s how rural my hometown was. These long bus rides gave us rural kids all kinds of time to engage in conversation and all kinds of mischief. Sometimes there were lighter moments like sing-a-longs, games, or “Your Mama” jokes. On the flip side there were arguments that would some time turn into all out fist fights. I learned so much on those long bus rides to and from school about relationships and people. Most of all I learned about power dynamics.
One of the worst experiences I had during those bus rides was dealing with this bully named Apricot (not his real name). Apricot was a white kid that rode a bus to school every day with a whole bunch of black kids. There were a handful of white kids that rode our bus and they all tended to sit together near the back of the bus. Apricot was older than me and bigger and for some reason he liked to pick on me. He used to harass me and put me in headlocks and choke holds. Apricot would berate me every day with racial slurs and just plain hateful speech for any human. I am not sure why Apricot acted the way he did, but I can imagine the language and behavior he used was being taught to him by somebody. I grew up in southeast Virginia, so I was no stranger to racist talk, but we didn’t usually have to deal with it in our mostly black surroundings to and from school. Apricot was challenging that norm because he felt he could with me.
However, one day after getting harassed by Apricot, I got tired of this situation and decided to do something about it. Apricot was hurling his usual racial slurs at me so only he and I could hear as he used to always somehow find a way to sit beside me on the bus. But this one day I decided to make sure the other black kids on the bus could get a taste for what he was saying. I repeated back to him what he was calling me in a loud voice so others could hear. There were other black males on that bus that were much bigger and more physically imposing than Apricot. When they heard what Apricot was calling me, it piqued their interest and their hostile attention immediately turned to him.
Apricot was now in a situation where he was surrounded by bigger black males that wanted to do him harm. I can imagine he felt uncomfortable as he was entirely out of his element and truthfully outnumbered. Apricot became fearful and realized that he needed to get out of this situation, or he was in for a world of hurt. He retreated from my seat and decided to seek safety with the handful of white kids at the back of the bus.
I never got bullied again by Apricot from that day forward and I never had to even throw a punch. I just used my wits and turned the power dynamics in my favor. You see like most bullies; Apricot took advantage of my fear, and he made me feel isolated. However, when I took in the entirety of the situation it was really Apricot that was isolated. When I found my voice and the courage to speak up for myself the power dynamics changed.
This world will always have bullies. There are people that feel that they must make others feel small so they can feel big. The truth is that these types of people are the smallest among us. Once you understand this universal truth, you will always be able to stand up to them. Yes, physical pain hurts and bullies always use this tool to keep their victims in place. However, the physical pain is nothing compared to the freedom you feel from confronting the hate bullies spew head on. There is power in standing up for your truth and all the bullies of the world know it. Own your truth and the bullies in your life don’t stand a chance.
The Reinvention of Cake 